“I’m not white, but I’ve seen every Wes Andersen movie and I just went to Coachella so I basically have a PhD in white people right now.
Basically, being white is like this: think of the most socially awkward situation you’ve ever been in, and make it last your entire life. That’s being white. Everything is awkward for them. White people try so hard to not be awkward that they end up being awkward as all hell and honestly it’s soooo cute. It’s like watching a dog with socks on.
White people have a hard time being comfortable in the skin they’re in. If a white person is proud of being white, they are labelled a racist. White people have to carry the burdens of all the douchey things their grandparents did to everyone else. This makes white people very sensitive to social situations because they are obsessed with not perpetuating negative stereotypes. Unfortunately this overt self awareness hinders them from doing activites that require an accute lack of fucks given (such as) dancing, playing sports, being cool, etc.
But even with all of this, I think that all of us have a little white in us. Sometimes there’s days where you just wanna hop in your Honda civic, turn on some Smashing Pumpkins, and drive the speed limit. Sometimes I wanna go to Starbucks and overpay for bad coffee. Sometimes I wanna pretend I know what’s going on during a David Lynch movie. Sometimes I wanna non ironically listen to Garth Brooks. Birkenstocks are comfortable as fuck. NPR is the only news source you can really trust these days.
Just read perks of being a wallflower. It’s like the white people manifesto. Lays everything out for you.”—homeboy5925 (answered “Reddit, what is it like to be a white person?”)
What I wish the new Ghostbusters III Movie was like...
Okay, so my boyfriend and I accidentally came up with the best possible scenario for the new Ghostbuster movie; which is, as follows:
What’s left of the original Ghostbuster gang are present-day staff of the Official Ghostbuster Academy; which currently has only 3 students. Christopher Titus is the excitable wildcard of the mentees, Zach Galifinakis is the hopeless fan boy, and Patton Oswalt is the ‘ladies man‘ Bill Murray takes under his wing.
The once-great academy has since fallen on hard times due to super-efficient rival academy that is more cost-effective and boasts “No traps!”. Meanwhile, their’s rumors around town of a super ghost king of all ghosts soon to strike. Long story short, we find out the rival academy is feeding the super ghost king the smaller ghosts they catch and that the entire Academy has secretly been enslaved by the super ghost king! Who you gunna call?
Also, Patton Oswalt probably wins the heart of the rival academy’s cutest female recruit somehow.
I’ve been dead on this site while I’ve been involved in my new job. My new job is awesome, but it requires my internet presence to be “clean”. Or at least, “professional”. The only site I’m not giving up is Tumblr, but I have done some spring cleaning on my blog. New layout, new “about me” section, blah blah mostly the same.